Ah it is now September, which means soon back to uni and back to work, and so back to blog writing. I hope you all have had a really wonderful Summer, but I can’t lie to you, Autumn is most definitely my favourite season.
Throughout the last few months, I had the opportunity to encounter and meet new people, make new friends and also reconnect with friends I’d maybe lost touch with over the years. The thing about this is that very often when meeting new people or starting a new conversation the awkward ‘Oh, Hello. What’s your name?’, is possibly the hardest sentence to get out there. It takes me a lot of courage and a lot of internal debating before I can muster up the nerve to get a conversation going.
Inner dialogue looks a little like this:
‘Why would they want to talk to you?’
‘Of course they want to talk they’re sitting there awkwardly too’
‘THIS IS SO AWKWARD’
‘You can do it… no wait you can’t….YES you can’
Of course, I’m speaking from personal experience, maybe you have never experienced this and in that case I applaud you please come and befriend me with ease, I’d be most grateful. You see, more often than not I’ve noticed (and after talking to people several times and becoming great friends) that in general the other person probably has the same running inner dialogue and is probably just as nervous meeting you too.
Which brings me to the title of this blog, ‘self-care’. For myself, the reason I find it so difficult to initiate conversation is because the self-esteem and confidence is not there. There may at times seem like I am full of confidence (fake it until you make it friend), but on the inside I resemble a terrified cat.
I think in this society somehow there’s been a development of being so humble that it has went too far, becoming a little detrimental. Being modest has went too far over the scale that you don’t even recognise the good in yourself anymore, which has led to low self-esteem/confidence, thus leading to lack of conversation-starting energy.
So, this Summer, I tried to pick up some self-care tips to try make me feel good to make life a lot easier (as it shouldn’t be difficult). Here’s some examples:
- I bought new bed sheets (they were so pretty and they were on sale), I know this seems mundane, but my room is now a place I feel comfortable enough to relax in and unwind.
- Find a ‘chill’ place. A place where you can just relax and not stress out or worry. I have a little cubby hole in my room filled with pillows, blankets, books etc that is just perfect for this (in fact, it is where I am writing this post right now).
- Try something new. At the start of the Summer I tried yoga for a few months, I went to a place I didn’t know and knew nobody who went there and even though it was petrifying at the beginning it was actually one of the best things I have done this year in terms of confidence (physically and mentally) and it helped stretch out all the worry tension in my body for that day.
- Try become comfortable with yourself. Take your self out for a little cup of coffee, or lunch, maybe go for a walk. Do things that you’d normally do with others alone, become comfortable with your own thoughts. (added bonus: going to lunch alone means you can go to food places YOU love but maybe your friends don’t)
- Buy a plant. I bought a cactus.
- Hang out with a confident person. I have this friend that is soo confident that whenever I hang out with her I generally feel like I can handle anything, just because I feel like she can.
- Find a hobby*/interest that you are good at and pursue it. Don’t do something you aren’t that great at or you struggle with in this case, as it’ll probably make you feel worse, find something you are passionate about and enjoy doing, for me that’s learning a language or drawing, and it makes me feel kinda good. Think about it this way, when someone asks ‘what are you good at?’ (or even when I ask myself that), my immediate response is ‘nothing…’, so it’s nice to have something that you can be like ‘oh, hey I’m actually…’ if you catch my drift.
These are just a few little steps I took, maybe you can think of more for yourself, if they really work please let me know your ideas so I can give them ago.
I think this post is something extremely important, for this time of year especially when things begin to get extremely stressful again, or maybe you are starting a new university, taking new classes etc with people you don’t know and it kind of scares you. I suppose just take some time out of the day away from stress and have so ‘me’ time.
Oh, I almost forgot, a link for a self- care guide is here from blurtitout.org https://www.blurtitout.org/self-care-starter-kit/ .
*Hobbies – maybe you find the idea of a new hobby daunting because you’ve no idea of what you could be good at, here’s a few ideas as presented to you by Buzzfeed https://www.buzzfeed.com/augustafalletta/hell-yeah-hobbies-for-adults?utm_term=.nmP6K1aj6#.ejmK0EmaK.
GO TAKE CARE OF YO’ SELF.